


The end before a beginning

by miniutiae



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band)
Genre: Arguing, Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Linong tries to stay bright but he's equally stressed, Xukun is stressed, and sad, everyone is stressed, this doesn't have a brilliant plot but I tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:24:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15874752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniutiae/pseuds/miniutiae
Summary: "It will be fine."He didn't know how. He just wanted it to be fine. Maybe if he said it out loud, it would come true.





	The end before a beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first proper fanfiction in English, and it's not my first language but I tried to proofread with so much attention. Feel free to point out any errors or mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

Linong knew something was wrong when he saw Xukun hesitantly put down his cell phone on the coffee table. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he ran a hand through his dark brown hair.  
Zhangjing noticed his sudden change of mood and walked to him with no hesitation.  
"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.  
Xukun quickly turned around to face him, startling him a bit.  
"This is weird..."  
Xukun said in a low tone, still loud enough for members close to them to hear.  
"What is weird?" Yanjun asked as he closed his room's door behind him, clearly confused. By then, everyone has come closer to Xukun to see what’s going on. He gulped and answered:  
"It was our manager."  
"What’s so weird about it?" Justin asked.  
"He said he's coming here in 20 minutes to announce something important. He sounded pretty...nervous."  
"Didn't they usually ask us to visit the company's building if they wanted to make important announcements?"  
Linong asked, confused and now, somewhat nervous. He could feel his hands becoming a bit colder than usual. He tried to calm himself down. Why would he feel nervous after all?  
Xukun nodded. Xiao Gui, from the other side of Xukun, frowned and said: "That is kinda unexpected. But let's hope it's good news"  
____________________  
It wasn't good news. It was nowhere close to being good. 

"What do you mean by Not debuting??" Xukun asked in disbelief. Their manager looked pretty down too.  
"I'm really sorry that this happened, but the company just can't handle your debut plans at this moment." He answered.

The room fell silent once again. The atmosphere so cold and heavy, unbearable for Linong. He slowly pulled his sweater's sleeves further to his palms, holding onto it with his fingers, trying to find warmth and comfort. But it wasn't helping at all. Not when his heart was slowly starting to break from the weight of this news. 

Yanjun gave a snort of disgust and disbelief. Zhengting walked closer to the manager and asked: "They can't just tell us to leave everything behind and go. We need to talk to the ones in charge of managing our debut plans. They can't just-"

"I'm sorry kids. Unfortunately, this is how things turned out. Everyone reached this decision after weeks of discussion. I apologize. None of us thought something like this would happen."

No one said a word. Linong could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. All of them just stayed at their spots, minds blank, hands cold, hearts still in disbelief. 

"I have to leave now. Again, please accept my apology. I tried to talk them out of it but it didn't work. So..."  
The manager hesitated a bit before leaving. The door shut behind him, leaving the nine boys behind. 

He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to. Their manager's words were just unclear muffled sounds to his ears, which shouted too loud at the same time that it hurt his head. He looked around the living room of their dorm. Everyone was in a shock. No one said a word. The silence was broken by a low hysterical laughter, Eventually becoming louder. And now, Xukun was laughing out loud. Unable to control the overflow of his emotions which came out as a hysterical laugh.  
Worry filled everyone's eyes.  
"Xukun..." Zhengting said softly.  
"They are saying that we can't debut...wow they say that we are not going to debut! Zhengting, can you believe that? We're not going to debut! There is no future for Nine Percent!"  
Xukun said between his laughs.

He continued laughing. Linong could feel his heart breaking at every single word Xukun said.  
Ziyi, who was sitting next to Xukun on the sofa, scooted closer to him and said: "Xukun, calm down. Take a deep breath."  
He couldn't take a deep breath as he was close to choking because of his continuous laughter. Chengcheng gathered his courage and said: "Kun-ge it's okay. It's not the end. We still-"

The sound of laughter stopped so suddenly that everyone froze. 

"Okay?" Xukun growled. Chengcheng took a step back as he felt the tension rising. 

"Okay??" Xukun said in a rather loud voice. Linong jumped in surprise. His hands were ice-cold and now sweating. 

Chengcheng opened his mouth to say something but Xukun interrupted him:  
"No, it's not. It's not okay. It never will be okay. This was my last hope. This was my only chance to survive. I didn't have a plan B and I still don't. All my faith was in this group. All of it! And you have the nerve to say It's okay??"

"I didn't mean to-" Chengcheng tried explaining himself.

"Of course, you didn't." Xukun snapped. 

"You didn't mean to say such a thing. Because you don't understand! You just don't have any idea of what I've been through and what I'm going through. Because you don't understand at all!" Xukun nearly shouted.

"Kun-Ge I think you're going a bit too far. He didn't mean to insult you or anything." Xiao Gui frowned and said.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Why were they fighting?  
Linong's eyes caught a glimpse of Chengcheng slowly going behind Zhengting and helplessly tugging at his sleeve.  
Why was this happening? Shouldn't they be comforting each other at the moment? Why are they shouting?

Xukun sent a death glare to Xiao Gui, another one to Chengcheng, before storming out of the living room and to the hallway leading to their rooms. 3 seconds later, a door was slammed shut. 

"What the actual hell?" Justin said.  
Zhengting glared at him. Justin mouthed: "sorry." 

"I think we all need some time to take this in and cool down." Yanjun sighed.

Everyone nodded. Linong's eyes couldn't leave Chengcheng's scared face and how he was holding onto Zhengting like he was the only shelter he could find. Xukun never once got mad at them for anything. Even when Justin accidentally broke his favorite mug, or when Chengcheng bought a whole variety of fruit flavored ice cream using his card when he said he'd only buy one. 

Eventually, everyone went to their own rooms. And now, Linong was in an empty living room, still sitting in the spot he has been in for the previous 40 minutes. He didn't know what to do. The muffled voice of their manager, ex-manager now, was still unclear, but not as vague as before. He played with his fingers for a bit before gathering the courage to move. 

He walked towards his room, his shared room with Xukun and Xiao Gui, knowing the latter wouldn’t be there since he went to another room, probably too scared to face Xukun. He was extremely hesitant when he put his hand on the doorknob. Not knowing whether Xukun was in a state to let him in the room or not. 

After minutes of thinking, he knocked gently and opened the door. Xukun jumped up at the sound of Linong entering the room. He quickly turned his face away and started rubbing his sleeves on his face.  
He's been crying.  
Linong's heart clenched in his chest. Xukun turned around to face him, trying to put up his best fake smile, but it was a fail. 

"Oh, You're here."

"Yes..." Linong tried to avoid his eyes. 

Silence. After what felt like hours, Xukun said in a low tone:  
"I was too harsh on Chengcheng, wasn't I?"

Linong looked at him. He seemed hopeless, sad, guilty, uncertain and every single emotion that he has never seen on his face. But the strongest walls break at some points too. It was a fact that their strong and confident leader, was just as scared and lost as them, if not more. 

"It's okay gege. We understand. It's been hard on you." Linong answered.

Xukun stared at his locked hands on his knees. 

"Nongnong, what should I do...?"

Linong slowly walked towards Xukun's bed and sat next to him, careful not to slam his own head against the upper bunk. 

"We're meeting with the people in charge of debuting Nine Percent tomorrow. The will talk to us about that. You don't have to worry Kun-ge."

Linong said with a smile, Trying to sound hopeful. Xukun sighed and looked away. 

"All of you will go back to your agencies. Zhengting, Justin, and Chengcheng have already debuted in another group and hit it big, Ziyi has been in a group even before idol producer, Xiao Gui, Yanjun and Zhangjing, their companies have plans for their future as idols, you, you'll be okay. You've already sung an OST and it was praised. There's no way you won't have an album coming out after this. But for me...Linong I don't even have a company...what should I do..."

His voice shivered as he asked the question he knew no one could answer. At least not now. Linong felt a slight burning behind his own eyes. 

"You are still the most popular member ge. You are the center of this group, "  
You were the center of this group.  
" there is no way you'd be left alone and lost after this. Any company would be honored to have you sign a contract with them. You'll bring them validation, popularity, talent!"

Linong said enthusiastically. Xukun kept staring at the ground. Taking in every single word Linong told him with his pure honesty. He smiled a sad smile. 

"People forget."

He said after a minute of silence. Linong sent him a confused look. 

"People forget easily. It was a matter of screen time during Idol Producer. Every week, they got to see me, my hard work, my performances. They voted. Because I was good. I was good at dancing. I was good at rapping. I had a nice face. They voted and I won the first place. I won the first place and I swear to God, I was the happiest. I was the happiest even until now. Even after 5 months of performing the same songs over and over again, doing the same things over and over again. Because people saw me. Because I was always in front of their eyes, there is no way to forget what is right in front of you."

He took a deep breath, trying to stabilize his voice, trying not to break down in tears, and then continued. 

"Joining a new agency, training all over again, and not knowing when I'll debut...I don't want to go through those again. I've already felt this pain enough. Two times was too much. I worked so hard. I practiced till early in the morning, I worked so hard, I swear I did, I'm just tired... Linong I don't want to go through this again...I don't want to..."

His words were laced with desperation, now mixed with a rush of tears that found their way down to his face. 

It felt like he was asking Linong to stop this from happening. The way his trembling hands found Linong's sleeve and the way his tearful eyes looked at him with utmost helplessness.

Last rays of hope slowly faded away in Linong's heart as he saw the boy he looked up to all the time, the boy he admired so much for his confidence and strong aura, finally broke down right in front of him. 

His voice couldn't even reach his mouth. The lump on his throat was suffocating him, so were the tears on his eyes. So he didn't say anything. He just pulled Xukun closer, embracing the older boy. He patted the other on the shoulder, Xukun buried his face in Linong's arm and let out a loud sob.

"It will be fine."

He didn't know how. He just wanted it to be fine. Maybe if he said it out loud, it would come true.  
The first tear fell down from his eye. He rested his head on Xukun's. 

"You'll be fine."

Second tear. All he wanted right now was for Xukun to be fine after this. He didn't want him to go through everything for the third time. He really didn't want it.  
Xukun shook his head with the little energy he still had in him, still sobbing. 

Linong took a shaky breath. Put on his brightest smile, as if Xukun could see it and believe his words. Words he didn't believe either, words he knew were just like bubbles. Beautiful but empty. Yet he poured all his sincerity into them. 

"I promise you, everything will be fine..."

Please believe me. Please don't be hurt like this. 

"we all will be fine...I promise..."

Linong said with a shaky voice. This time, to himself.  
Please believe it. Please don't get hurt like this...

He let tears cover his face and blur his vision as Xukun's sobs quieted down and his grip slightly loosened.


End file.
